Honked on a Red light

So, you have been honked on red light. What was the first thing that you did when someone did that to you. You may have cursed the person, giving a look at him from your back view mirror. This is a normal reaction. You can really wish that you get out of your car and teach that person a good lesson.

A while back I was with one of our African customer in Dubai, whom had been a great person of hospitality. Being customer he took the front seat with the driver. We were going in a cab and the cab driver honked on a car in front of him on red signal light. The African guy stared at him and asked him the reason to honk on the red light. He said, “You should really not do that, this is not good”. Two lessons that I got from that person; first was the lesson of ethics; second was his openness to say wrong to something that is wrong.

He then narrated story to us and cab driver. A woman driver in US honked to a guy on red light. The guy came out of the car, with a gun in his hand. Woman spotted the gun, took out her gun and shot the man first. The Woman was taken to the court; where she said that she shot the man for self-defense. Because if she shouldn’t have killed him; the guy must have killed her. The court released her without any charges.

This is one aspect when we are on road. The other aspect is; how many times we have been honked in our practical life to move even though we cannot move on a red light. People will honk to you even on the no-go lights or road blocks to move ahead of you. People will try to frustrate you, because they don’t see red traffic light stopping them, they actually see only your car blocking there way. There small vision causes problem for everyone around them. So if you are ever honked, the only 3 options are either not to drive, be patient, or give the person a real lesson.

The strength to say a wrong thing wrong is really a matter of courage. Only great people can understand ethics; give respect and criticize on what need to be criticized.

Organizational Leadership

Trendsetters, visionaries, executive associate or a managerial helper may be the words that can represent leaders. In all the cases the message conveyed is simple and that is thinking collectively rather than working and striving as an individual. An old saying, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, and you feed him for life time”. My version would be like, “MISSION to serve a necessity of life with a VISION that will move on to the GENERATIONS”. So leadership is to regenerate or stimulate an environment that will facilitate the best among us. Sharing, Inspiring and Facilitating are therefore the core circles where the leaders can be found.

Most of the times people comment on a person being a borne leader. Truly speaking, there is no borne leader, as such. This idea may differ from person to person. I believe that the environment and challenges around; makes a leader out of someone. In this world of high class professionals full of IT and financial gurus, leaders normally foster conditionally on the air of their surroundings. They really want to do right things, rather than trying to do things right. The general industry perception these days is that we as individuals are just bind to do things correctly. These “things” may come to a leader in the form of company norms, processes and procedures. Therefore we are actually depriving a prospect leader to think out of the box. We want them to do things that we want them to do. Rather than trying to create a space for them to do things with a leadership approach.

Depending on what area you are serving, the leader’s behaviors vary. A cricket captain may like an aggressive approach yelling and bucking his team with a supportive attitude. An IT leader may have a separate agenda for his followers, adapting flexibility in the behavior as per the situation and need of time. Whatever be, the followers look towards leaders as teachers and mentors. So, why a follower should be looking at a leader for directions? And why should a follower trust on the guidelines of the leader? The answer to both the questions is in the leader and follower relationship that cannot be formed through a swing of a wand. It does not happen like husband and wife relationship, you sign a legal document and here you go. It actually requires true leadership where your vision is being respected and honored by the followers, as it serves the benefit of an individual, society and an organization. And at times it may need sacrificing your own part (as a leader) for others (followers). Bill gates and Steve jobs can be perfect examples. Both have given this world a technology advancement that has created new opportunities for people all around the globe.

If you take example of our most beloved prophet then you can find leader in him in the form of a servant, a leader, a preacher and a follower. It is not that he was always looked for advice; but he himself has always looked towards his best people to make the best decisions as a true leader.

Therefore true organizational leader is one who:

• Thinks on a larger perspective, always keeping the VISION of the group in front of his actions and ideas. Shows a direction such that people are compelled to do a task for their own benefit
• Takes opinion
• Set examples
• Innovates and creates new optimized processes
• Increases efficiency
• Motivates you to work (rather than forcing you)
• Thinks collectively
• Always find maximum benefits for others and then (rarely) look for himself on leftovers

In short, becoming leader needs true courage and effort. There are lots of other attribute that may have been missed out in order to praise a leader, a person of true INSPIRATION. It’s a matter of creating a purpose out of your life from the valleys of challenges, difficulties and opportunities. To reach a pinnacle you may have to pass through various valleys of despair. It’s a basic A.I. algorithm to reach new heights.

A reason to smile

"Dedicated to all who were effected from an unfortunate plane crash in ISB on 22 Apr 12"

The world is so beautiful, can’t be without you
And sky yet so blue, cloudless, tear less and still so fearless

Can’t understand, how these tears, fall for you
Seems my eyes, still waiting for you

Yet I know, you were the reason of joy
For all those whom you have left behind

What happened was unfortunate, yes it was sad
But more it left were fearful hearts

Hearts that have hopes, a wish for a morning
Never even knowing of these knockless doors

The doors won't open for these are sealed
But I hope and wish for colourful windows

That will soon open and make you wild
And bring you back in the world that showers
Happiness, love and a reason to smile

Boomerang

Respect is a boomerang; it always comes back without any doubts. Want respect? Then better give respect? Respect needs to be earned. This is a universal truth that can be seen applicable in our daily life. Whether it is family, friendship or professional matters, our daily dealings with the people revolve around this philosophy. Doesn’t this looks very simple? As a simple five words statement it may look easy, but the practicality to this needs persistent ingredients of love, patience, care and wisdom.

When does a person feel disrespected? When we are forced, ignored, threatened, lied to, mocked, betrayed or being laughed at. In everyday life we coordinate with lots of new faces. But, 90% of your day is spending time with familiar faces. Be it your office space or family; the most common relationships for us are parents, children, wife / husband, brother, sister, close friend, boss and your immediate sub-ordinates. As you grow the importance and connection level with these people vary. Any of the relationship that changes one’s emotional behavior (emotional dis-balance) while interacting with you, is actually in fear relationship with you. FEAR forces us to move out of our comfort zone, thus making us behave abnormally. In comparison, respect is natural. Our amicable behavior and attitude with our relationship forces the person to respect you NATURALLY. It comes from natural inside that is our heart.

There are therefore two kinds of respect modes. First one is respect as an obligation that is also called FEAR. This is a mandatory type of respect that you give to someone within legal, natural, ethical or professional boundaries. Be it your parents, your boss or your customer. You may give them a forceful respect; else you are aware of the consequences. Respect through Fear is short earned. It takes no time to be converted into disrespect, if not handled properly with touch of respect, where needed. Therefore on our relationship (say as a father) scale of 10, we may by on scale 02 as fear and scale 08 as respect. We need to set these scales very carefully in our life, especially with people who are into a long term relationship with us.

The big question, how do you think a respect is earned? When are we respected? When our views are heard? When we get appreciation where needed? When we are asked for options? When we are not dodged or diplomatically handled? Now when do you think that this can actually happen to us? Simple, when we give the same to the other person who deserves it? Be it our parents, our children, wife, husband, colleagues or bosses. The more we practice this behavior the more we will get the same from them. Either you would be loved or respected. It therefore creates a win-win situation with your relations.

Last but not the least, if you respect other, it will never degrade you in the eyes of other people. This is a negative perception that we all normally create out of this behavior. We usually think that if I give respect to the others, they will take advantage out of this behavior of mine. Believe me this is just a perception or an illusion. Practice respect, it will surely open lots of closed avenues of your LIFE. 

A Stranger!

Went to a place, filled with strangers,

Nobody knows me, and people without words,
Ocean so quiet doesn't even talks,
Winds thou chilled, roads so lost,

I took a walk with a silent street,

My feet’s yet cold and want no walk,

My hands in hairs, making waves inside,

And eyes bit closed, with feelings in hide,

My sight yet travelled making sound of words,
A sound of love; a signal for trust,
That made me a path we together walked,
To the home of love where hearts were locked

Asif