Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Boomerang

Respect is a boomerang; it always comes back without any doubts. Want respect? Then better give respect? Respect needs to be earned. This is a universal truth that can be seen applicable in our daily life. Whether it is family, friendship or professional matters, our daily dealings with the people revolve around this philosophy. Doesn’t this looks very simple? As a simple five words statement it may look easy, but the practicality to this needs persistent ingredients of love, patience, care and wisdom.

When does a person feel disrespected? When we are forced, ignored, threatened, lied to, mocked, betrayed or being laughed at. In everyday life we coordinate with lots of new faces. But, 90% of your day is spending time with familiar faces. Be it your office space or family; the most common relationships for us are parents, children, wife / husband, brother, sister, close friend, boss and your immediate sub-ordinates. As you grow the importance and connection level with these people vary. Any of the relationship that changes one’s emotional behavior (emotional dis-balance) while interacting with you, is actually in fear relationship with you. FEAR forces us to move out of our comfort zone, thus making us behave abnormally. In comparison, respect is natural. Our amicable behavior and attitude with our relationship forces the person to respect you NATURALLY. It comes from natural inside that is our heart.

There are therefore two kinds of respect modes. First one is respect as an obligation that is also called FEAR. This is a mandatory type of respect that you give to someone within legal, natural, ethical or professional boundaries. Be it your parents, your boss or your customer. You may give them a forceful respect; else you are aware of the consequences. Respect through Fear is short earned. It takes no time to be converted into disrespect, if not handled properly with touch of respect, where needed. Therefore on our relationship (say as a father) scale of 10, we may by on scale 02 as fear and scale 08 as respect. We need to set these scales very carefully in our life, especially with people who are into a long term relationship with us.

The big question, how do you think a respect is earned? When are we respected? When our views are heard? When we get appreciation where needed? When we are asked for options? When we are not dodged or diplomatically handled? Now when do you think that this can actually happen to us? Simple, when we give the same to the other person who deserves it? Be it our parents, our children, wife, husband, colleagues or bosses. The more we practice this behavior the more we will get the same from them. Either you would be loved or respected. It therefore creates a win-win situation with your relations.

Last but not the least, if you respect other, it will never degrade you in the eyes of other people. This is a negative perception that we all normally create out of this behavior. We usually think that if I give respect to the others, they will take advantage out of this behavior of mine. Believe me this is just a perception or an illusion. Practice respect, it will surely open lots of closed avenues of your LIFE. 

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